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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Weekend
Spirituality
Getting
Trying
Believe
Plumber
More quotes by Woody Allen
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
Woody Allen
I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
Woody Allen
I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
Woody Allen
When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
Woody Allen
I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
Woody Allen
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
Woody Allen
Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
Woody Allen
In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
Woody Allen
Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
Woody Allen
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
