Quote

I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Getting
Trying
Believe
Plumber
Weekend
Spirituality

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
Woody Allen
Image
Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
Woody Allen
Image
I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
Woody Allen
Image
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
Image
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
Image
It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
Woody Allen
Image
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
Image
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
Image
I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
Image
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
Image
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
Image
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
Image
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen
Image
You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
Woody Allen
Image
I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
Woody Allen
Image
Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday
Woody Allen
Image
Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
Woody Allen
Image
I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
Image
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
Image
Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
Woody Allen