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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Warren
Fingertips
Reincarnation
Sex
Back
Come
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
Woody Allen
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
Woody Allen
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In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I lead a very middle class life. I work in the mornings, I have lunch, I practise my clarinet, I go to the movies, I eat out in restaurants or watch ball games on television or at the ball games.
Woody Allen
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Me and nature are two.
Woody Allen
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody Allen