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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Pianist
Wish
Live
Great
Something
Life
More quotes by Woody Allen
My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
Woody Allen
I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
Woody Allen
