Quote

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Profoundly
Grateful
Says
Stage
Girl
Life

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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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