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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Forced
Choose
Crazy
Reality
Ends
Believe
Dreadful
Kills

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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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