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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Ends
Believe
Dreadful
Kills
Forced
Choose
Crazy
Reality

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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen I want to live on in my apartment.
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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