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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Arts
None
Unless
Art
Great
Really
Good

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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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I read in self-defense.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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