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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Kids
Smart
Understood
Parents
Parent

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You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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When one chooses to be a writer, psychologically there's a reason for that because you like the isolation and you like to be by yourself and you are by nature timid.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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I am two with nature.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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