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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Creatures
City
Streets
Cities
Creature
York

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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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