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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Styles
Imagine
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Interesting
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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