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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Experience
Father
Reason
Everything
Creatively
Different
Goes
Would
Hurt
Life
Wrong
Simple

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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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I hope you're getting this down.
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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