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Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Business
Difficulty
Deduction
Government
Finally
Analyst
Take
Tried
Compromised
Made
Taxes
Deductions
Years
Year
Analysts
Religious
Contribution
Lasts
Income
Last
Entertainment

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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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