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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Freedom
Films
Film
Therefore
Made
Lucky
Never
Gets
Nobody
Huge
Hurt
Consistently
Almost
Profit

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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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Take the money and run.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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