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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Unimaginably
Haphazard
Neutral
Morally
Violent
Universe
More quotes by Woody Allen
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
Woody Allen
In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
Woody Allen
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
I didn't know he was dead I thought he was British.
Woody Allen
