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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Needs
Happier
Going
Delusion
People
Sounds
Seem
Sound
Delude
Keep
Delusions
Seems
Bleak
Need
Successfully

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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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