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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dirty
Braille
Parts
Pornographic
Humor
Stole
Reading
Obscene
Funny
Bananas
Used
Pornography
Book
Printed
Filmmaker
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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