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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Parts
Pornographic
Humor
Stole
Reading
Obscene
Funny
Bananas
Used
Pornography
Book
Printed
Filmmaker
Dirty
Braille
More quotes by Woody Allen
I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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Take the money and run.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies, but I never felt I've made a great movie.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
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