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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Guy
Frogs
Science
Grants
Ends
Suits
Littles
Foundation
Little
Guys
Intellectual
Cutting
Dead
Tweed

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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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