Quote

People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Morning
Thinking
Asks
People
Funny
Thought
Occur
Ever
Odd
Always
Realistic
Never
Separate
Would
Wake

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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