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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Cement
Marriage
Life
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More quotes by Woody Allen
My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
Woody Allen
It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
Woody Allen
I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
Woody Allen
The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
Woody Allen
If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
Woody Allen
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Woody Allen
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
Woody Allen
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
Woody Allen
There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
Woody Allen
I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
Woody Allen
One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
Woody Allen
Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
Woody Allen
