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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
Woody Allen
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen
Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
Woody Allen
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
Woody Allen
I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
Woody Allen
I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
Woody Allen
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
Woody Allen
I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
Woody Allen
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Woody Allen
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody Allen
That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen
Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen
There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
Woody Allen
Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
Woody Allen
The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
Woody Allen
To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen