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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
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Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Reality
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
Woody Allen
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
Woody Allen
My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
Woody Allen
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Woody Allen
See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
Woody Allen
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
Woody Allen
Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
Woody Allen
My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
Woody Allen