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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Maker
Makers
Audience
Making
Film
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
Woody Allen
