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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Film
Comedies
Come
Occasionally
Writing
Unfortunately
Much
Stuck
Something
Heavy
Time
Comedy
Wish
Born
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long.
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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I am two with nature.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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