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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dislike
Hours
Universe
Death
Must

More quotes by Woody Allen

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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
Woody Allen
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Woody Allen
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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
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Subjectivity is objective.
Woody Allen
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
Woody Allen
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
Woody Allen
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen