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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Games
Parker
Funny
Memoirs
Going
Companionship
Make
Memoir
Love
Sold
Life
Brothers
Brother
Game
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't rely on anybody except my own judgment. I don't get much input. I don't know if that's helped me or if I would be better off if I did rely on someone.
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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