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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Brother
Game
Games
Parker
Funny
Memoirs
Going
Companionship
Make
Memoir
Love
Sold
Life
Brothers
More quotes by Woody Allen
Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
I foresee death by culture shock.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
Woody Allen
You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
Woody Allen
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
Woody Allen
When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
Woody Allen
Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
Woody Allen
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Woody Allen
Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen
Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
Woody Allen
I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
Woody Allen
I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.
Woody Allen
I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
