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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorous
Letters
Name
Names
Funny
Tell
Marry

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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