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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thousand
Sleep
Years
Reputed
Flames
Smoking
Suddenly
Rise
Particularly

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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
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I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
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I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
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