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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Director
Film Producer
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Gravity
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Cease
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Suddenly
More quotes by Woody Allen
Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
Woody Allen
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
Woody Allen
Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
