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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Lourdes
Psychology
Year
Going
Years
Psychoanalyst
More quotes by Woody Allen
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
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Subjectivity is objective.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
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