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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Went
Land
Small
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Father
Carried
Wherever
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Property
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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The best things in life are censored.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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