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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Faithfully
Maturity
Teeth
Terrible
Age
Really
Brushed
More quotes by Woody Allen
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
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