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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humorists
Table
Tables
Humor
Children
Always
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
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