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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Children
Always
Humorists
Table
Tables
Humor
More quotes by Woody Allen
The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
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It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
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