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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Adversity
Mallet
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Prozac
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Polo
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Nothing
Depression
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
Woody Allen
My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
Woody Allen
Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
Woody Allen
It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Woody Allen
I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
Woody Allen
I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
Woody Allen
If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
Woody Allen
I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
