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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Cynic
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Cynicism
Reality
More quotes by Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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It figures you've got to hate yourself if you've got any integrity at all.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
Woody Allen
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
