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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thing
Bald
Trying
Sixteen
Manner
Behave
Behavior
Short
Age
Best
Befitting

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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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