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People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Loses
Artist
Money
Film
Think
Thinking
People
Films
Lose

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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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Subjectivity is objective.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth.
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