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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Seekers
Failure
Failing
Anything
Trying

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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