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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Anything
Trying
Seekers
Failure
Failing
More quotes by Woody Allen
90% of success in life is showing up
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A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
Woody Allen
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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