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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Right
Psychiatrist
Dirty
Prison
Sex
Asked
Told
Thought
Done

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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it.
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Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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