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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wasn
Wonderful
Certain
World
People
More quotes by Woody Allen
I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
Woody Allen
There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen
To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen
If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
Woody Allen
If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
Woody Allen
This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Woody Allen
When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
Woody Allen
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
Woody Allen
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen
. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
Woody Allen
There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
Woody Allen
