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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Paranoid
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
Woody Allen
