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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Aren
Doesn
Mean
Paranoid
More quotes by Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.
Woody Allen
I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
