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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Paranoid
Aren
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More quotes by Woody Allen
No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
Woody Allen
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
Woody Allen
Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
Woody Allen
For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
Woody Allen
I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
Woody Allen
With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
Woody Allen
Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
Woody Allen
See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
Woody Allen
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
Woody Allen
If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
Woody Allen
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
Woody Allen
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
Woody Allen
