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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Paranoid
Aren
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Mean
More quotes by Woody Allen
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.
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I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
Woody Allen
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
Woody Allen
She had been critical of his new torch song, A Side Order of Heartache, Please, suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.
Woody Allen
