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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
Woody Allen
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
Woody Allen
Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
Woody Allen
Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.
Woody Allen
I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody Allen
The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
Woody Allen
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
Woody Allen
Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Woody Allen
When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
Woody Allen
I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
Woody Allen
