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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Early
Olympus
Cutting
Mansion
Humor
Descended
Beauty
Blond
Funny
Mansions
Around
Snaps
Apparition
Way
Twenties
Apparitions
Clearly
Hugh

More quotes by Woody Allen

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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
Woody Allen
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
Woody Allen
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
Woody Allen
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
Woody Allen
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
Woody Allen
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
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I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.
Woody Allen
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
Woody Allen
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
Woody Allen
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
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See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
Woody Allen
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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
Woody Allen
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
Woody Allen
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
Woody Allen
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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
Woody Allen
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
Woody Allen
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
Woody Allen