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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Way
Twenties
Apparitions
Clearly
Hugh
Early
Olympus
Cutting
Mansion
Humor
Descended
Beauty
Blond
Funny
Mansions
Around
Snaps
Apparition

More quotes by Woody Allen

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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
Woody Allen
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I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.
Woody Allen
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
Woody Allen
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How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
Woody Allen
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
Woody Allen
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
Woody Allen
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I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
Woody Allen
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
Woody Allen
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
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Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic.
Woody Allen
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
Woody Allen
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
Woody Allen
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
Woody Allen
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
Woody Allen